I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you can’t have anymore food and I’m just never ready for that kind of commitment
sharing an umbrella with someone seems cute but in practice it is 100% horrible and you both end up getting angry and wet
"gays will push their sexuality onto their children"
funny because that’s exactly what every straight person does.
If one of my favorite singers crowd surfed at a concert I would just carry them away to my house